Meeting the Real Me (ear plugs)

At first, it came as a free gift from an online shopping mall. Thinking that the pair of earplug would surely come in handy, I kept them in my backpack for sometime in the future. Then, there came a day when this pair of squishy little rubber came to my attention.

My sensitive nature sometimes gives me a hard time when my roommate’s working on her homework late at night. At times, I wished I had a roommate who shares the same life pattern as mine, but it was just a dream far away. When, again, she was working on her science device late at night, and I was in the most desperate need of sleep. I remembered the existence of these earplugs. I rummaged through my backpack and took them out, and stuck them in my ears. The sensitivity to noise magically disappeared, and I happily fell asleep.

Shutting ears to the negative comments and opinions. Our physiological nature forbids such an amazing feature. Often, I envy those who claim to have selective hearing. When asked what superpower I will choose to have, I will say without reluctance the ability to selectively insulate sound. Why? Being a Korean girl attending one of the most selective schools in the nation, I am dealing with never-ending competition in and out of our classes. Though I wish for a sincere and truthful interaction with those around me, such a friendship seems to be rare these days. What makes it even worse is the fact that I am constantly being judged, evaluated, and examined in school and outside. I get less and less friendly, and I fear I might lose who I am and fear that I might adjust myself to a set of standards and social expectation against my will.

One day, I realized that it is I who constantly expose myself to the negative comments and ruminating on them like a cow chewing the cud. The cure for my fear had always been inside me all along. When I shut my ears to the judging, negative, pessimistic voice, I began to understand how I can be truly myself and whom I want to be.

Being a model student, one must always be attentive to his or her surroundings and what’s being said and instructed. But the school never taught me how to filter things that only have an offensive effect on my soul and my view of the world. Sometimes listening to gossips and rumors only have me make a wrong judgment, depriving me of my chance to form healthy relationships with others.

Earplugs keep me filter noise and allow me to focus on the bright side of things. I don’t shut my ears to everything I don’t want to hear. I just do so when I know for sure the noise that hurts my mind and soul. In such a moment, I wear my earplugs turn off and try to find the peace of mind. I let everything get aside and wait. When I let go, I meet my true self, and we shake hands.